The decision to make a difference

As part of Foster and Kinship Care Week, we're highlighting the experiences of a Victorian foster carer and the reflections that have shaped her caring journey.

For Sam, the decision to become a foster carer wasn't sparked by a single moment. The idea had been sitting quietly in the background since early adulthood, shaped by a belief that every child deserves the opportunity to feel safe, supported and encouraged to reach their potential.

"I felt strongly that we as women have the right to decide whether we want to have children," she says. "But the children do not have the same choice. They enter this world unbeknown to what kind of life they will have."

As she learned more about foster care, that belief became something more tangible.

"I wanted to provide a child or young person with somewhere safe where I could help them achieve opportunities that may not have been given otherwise."

Foster care can sometimes feel like something other people do. One of the most common misconceptions about foster care is that people need to have all the answers before they get started. Many people assume the role requires specialist skills, years of experience or a strong sense of confidence before they begin.

When asked whether her decision came from the heart or the head, Samantha says both played a role.

"I don't think it was either one leading. In my head I wanted to become a foster carer first and once I started the training my heart was 100 per cent on board."

The training helped her understand the realities of foster care, but it also challenged her thinking in ways she hadn't expected. It gave her a deeper appreciation of the role carers play in a child's life and reinforced that foster care is something people can learn about, prepare for and grow into.

Learning to see things differently
Looking back, Samantha talks as much about what she has learned from fostering as she does about what she has contributed.

"It has taught me patience and a different level of understanding," she says. "It has also changed my perspective on expectations and helped me with my own personal growth."

Over time, she has come to understand that progress is rarely linear. Trust takes time to build, and relationships develop at their own pace. Some of the most meaningful changes happen gradually and aren't always obvious in the moment.

"Not everything is black and white. Healing takes time."

One lesson that has stayed with her is the importance of advocacy.

"I've become a better carer and mother from the training and support I have received through my agency. It's okay to ask for help and I've learnt how to advocate for kids who don't know how to use their own voice yet."

For Samantha, foster care has reinforced that children and young people need adults who will listen, speak up when needed and remain committed, particularly during periods of uncertainty or change.

Just as importantly, she has learned that being a carer doesn't mean having all the answers. Some of the most valuable growth comes from being open to learning, seeking support and adapting as circumstances change.

Learning as you go
While conversations about foster care often focus on the decision to become a carer, Samantha believes there is just as much value in talking about what happens afterwards.

There are moments when carers question themselves. Times when progress feels slower than expected. Days when the outcome isn't immediately clear.

For newer carers navigating those experiences, her advice is straightforward.

"Be steadfast in your decisions. You are the expert on your foster child or young person."

Its advice grounded in experience rather than certainty.

"It's not an easy job and you need to remember that you can only do the best you can, and you will learn along the way with every child or young person you accept."

There is reassurance in that, and foster care is not about getting everything right from day one. Confidence develops over time through experience, support and the relationships built along the way.

To those considering becoming a foster carer
For anyone who has wondered whether foster care might be right for them, Sam doesn't suggest having all the answers before getting started. Instead, she recommends learning more.

"If someone has considered fostering at any point then I would recommend starting with the training," she says.

"It opens your mind and your heart and there is so much to learn that is not just beneficial to fostering but to everyday life."

She is also realistic about the responsibilities that come with caring.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it; fostering is not a straight line. It takes a lot of patience, love and investment in someone else."

Yet it is those very relationships that have made the journey worthwhile.

"The reward from that investment is the moments you see directly on a child or young person's face when they feel loved, accepted, accomplished and safe."

"You did that. You made a difference."

Looking back
Reflecting on her fostering journey, Sam acknowledges that life may have been simpler had she chosen a different path.

"Would my life be a little less stressful if I never said yes? I'm sure it would."

But when she thinks about everything fostering has brought into her life, there is no hesitation.

"I feel like I genuinely found something that makes a difference in my world."

Most importantly, she thinks about the young people she has met along the way.

"I would never have met some of the sweetest people who just needed a chance and place to shine."

As Foster and Kinship Care Week recognises the contribution of carers across Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania and the ACT, Sam's story is a reminder that foster care is rarely about having all the answers from the beginning.

Instead, it is a journey shaped by relationships, patience and a willingness to keep learning. The things that may feel uncertain at the start often become clearer with time, support and experience.

For Sam, some of the biggest lessons have come from the children and young people she has cared for, as well as the people who have supported her along the way. Those experiences have strengthened her confidence, broadened her perspective and helped her grow in ways she never expected.

While every caring journey is different, one thing remains constant: nobody starts out knowing everything.

For anyone considering becoming a foster carer, that may be the encouragement you need to hear. You do not need to be an expert before taking the first step. Sometimes it is enough to be open to learning, willing to listen and ready to grow alongside a child or young person.

Could that difference start with you?
Visit www.canifoster.com.au or call our team on 1800 932 273 for a genuine conversation about what fostering could look like for you.

While Foster and Kinship Care Week is celebrated at different times across Australia, it remains an important opportunity to recognise, celebrate and thank foster and kinship carers nationwide for the lasting difference they make in the lives of children and young people.